Slo Mo: A Podcast with Mo Gawdat

Dr. Annie Zimmerman - How to Know You've Found the Perfect Partner and Thrive in Dating

September 30, 2023 Mo Gawdat and Dr. Annie Zimmerman Episode 265
Slo Mo: A Podcast with Mo Gawdat
Dr. Annie Zimmerman - How to Know You've Found the Perfect Partner and Thrive in Dating
Show Notes

Today's guest is London-based psychologist Dr. Annie Zimmerman,  who goes by Your Pocket Therapist on Instagram where she has over 250,000 followers. As part of our miniseries on presenting a variety of perspectives on love and romance, I reached out to Annie because she avoids the gimmicks of presenting as an expert on dating while focusing strictly on the psychology side, which she does brilliantly. Annie drops gold nuggets of wisdom so effortlessly that you might miss them if you're not paying attention. If you're in a relationship already or trying to be, this episode will equip you with clarity on what to look for and what to stop looking for.

At points, this episode might seem like a broadcasting of my personal therapy session, so don't hold it against me as I may have forgotten a time or two that an audience would be listening.

Listen as we discuss:

  • 3:30: Why do good girls date bad boys?
  • 6:00: What draws us to needy and draining relationships?
  • 10:00: How attachment styles are formed.
  • 14:00: Is your childhood always to blame for your dysfunctional relationships?
  • 18:30: Is a lack of childhood traumas the key to a perfect partner?
  • 20:00: What should we look for in a perfect partner? (Consciously vs. Unconsciously)
  • 23:30: My period of time in monk-mode and dating  platonically. 
  • 26:00: The illusion of abundance in dating apps and the reality of scarcity mindset.
  • 29:30: Is it a waste of time to date without an objective? 
  • 31:00: Annie’s upcoming book, Your Pocket Therapist and redefining success in a relationship.
  • 34:00: Is it wrong to feel desperate to find someone to have kids in your 30’s?
  • 36:00 Is sustainable happiness possible in a relationship? Can love last forever?
  • 41:00: The torturous push and pull between stability and adventure.
  • 44:00: Alternate models of relationships such as polyamory.
  • 48:00: Has couples therapy ever really worked, and how we can improve odds?
  • 55:00: Incompatibility is a reality too.
  • 57:00: What does it truly mean to love somebody?
  • 59:30: Just because you love somebody doesn’t mean you should be with them.
  • 1:01:00: How can you become unafraid to fall in love?
  • 1:06:45: The economics of dating.
  • 1:09:21: Being prepared to walk away is the ultimate superpower.

Connect with Annie Zimmerman on Instagram @your_pocket_therapist  and learn more about her work here.

You can pre-order Annie's upcoming book, Your Pocket Therapist, here: https://geni.us/YourPocketTherapist

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